Christmas – When grieving it’s hard to see celebration in anything at all

It's midnight and I’m sitting in my kitchen so that I don’t wake the household. Its peaceful and my company are the Christmas tree and its magnificent lights illuminating the room. I wondered to myself what does Christmas mean to us all? For me It used to be spending time with my mom and dad, they are what made my time so special, the baking, cooking and being a family unit. The meaning of this season changed dramatically for me when I lost my parents.

Death and loss can be defined so differently for everyone. Did you physically lose someone? Are you struggling with the loss of a job? Are you in the middle of a divorce? Did you just end a friendship? Are you battling an internal demon that is leading you to believe you don’t need to be here anymore? Are you simply just in a terrible headspace struggling to pay the bills or keep your kids in school? This is all part of the process of loss, in some way or another. It’s difficult to fathom how to get through every minute never mind everyday of the festive season. I wanted to let people know if you are grieving right now that you are not alone. You are not crazy for how you feel emotionally and you have so much worth.

Things are never meant to be the same after someone in your life dies. Having gone through several dramatic loses I have created the festive season to be different. I don’t have the option to have it the way I did when my parents were alive. Today I create that magic for my new family (for my daughter and husband). I have gratitude that I can share my life with two very special people. That’s more than what most have.

We are surrounded by people every day that are struggling with a loss, when you pull up in your car at the traffic light, when you in the grocery line in a super market and even when you are sharing the lift with others. Millions of people are traumatised by loses. Everyone is looking for a small part of peace in their hearts.

My suggestion this Festive season is to be kind to everyone we come across, to all those we may pass by because we do not know where they are in their lives if they lost someone yesterday or a year ago or even a decade ago.

My husband came home last night and told me he works with a young girl and she asked if she could take some leave because her grandfather had recently passed away a day later he asked her manager if she was ok because he noticed that she wasn’t at work and he was told that her father died the night before. As a psychic medium I see this every day but It’s hard to believe that these things happen to families but it’s so common, one soul just can’t be without the other and ends up leaving around the same time. So be compasionate, reach out to those whom you might be able to help.

There is no real time frame for grief and how we get through it, for some they might find a way to deal with the pain of losing someone in a year and for others it might take a full lifetime. No judgement from me, you take as little or as long as you need, just know that you are on alone on this journey of trying to live with this void in your heart. We don’t get over someone we move through the loss of them. This means that I am who I am today because I have lost people I love, I wouldn’t be this person today had I not experienced these losses.

My experience doesn’t only come from the loss it comes from speaking to the ones who have crossed over. They want us to know that they want us to be happy and to move forward and wouldn't want us to mourn them. However us humans feel differently at this time of the year, do what every makes you feel comfortable and spend time with those who care about you, allow others to help heal your heart and if the tears keep flowing just let them. There is no right or wrong there is only being authentic in your process.

Wishing all of you a wonderful festive season. May you find peace in your hearts

From the one speaking to the departed xoxo